Past Polls

Season 7
Which is the best nickname among the playoff competitors?
1. Hamid "My Karzai Ran Over Your Dogzai" 57%
2. Kim "Dude Looks Like a Lady" Jong-Il 29%
3. "Greater" Than Shwe 14%
4. Omar "Genocidal Maniac" al-Bashir 0%
analysis: I don't know which is the best nickname, but I do know which is the worst for these guys... "President."

If given the chance, what would you throw in Silvio Berlusconi's face?
1. condoms 63%
2. statuette of Milan Cathedral 25%
3. dignity 13%
analysis: Always practice safe sex. Wrap it up!

Which evil leader would you prefer to be snowed in with?
1. al-Bashir (The genocidal one) 54%
2. Ahmadinejad (The cute one) 28%
3. Karzai (The one with the hat) 18%
4. Obiang (The cannibalistic one) 0%
5. Berlusconi (The horny one) 0%
analysis: Women like the bad boy.

Season 6
When Kim Jong-Il's son takes over North Korea, what level of dickness in relation to his father would you like to see him be?
1. less of a dick 78%
2. more of a dick 22%
3. same amount of a dick 0%
analysis: Who wants Kim's son to be more of a dick? A bunch of dicks!

Which evil leader is Bette Midler's song "Wind Beneath My Wings" really about?
1. Kim Jong-Il 45%
2. Robert Mugabe 36%
3. Saddam Hussein 10%
4. Fidel Castro 9%
5. Omar al-Bashir 0%
analysis: It was a trick question. "Wind Beneath My Wings" was actually written by Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar and was initially an ode to Margaret Thatcher.

Season 5
Which evil leader has the all time best looking mustache?
1. Hitler 36%
2. Lukashenko 27%
3. Mugabe 18%
4. S. Hussein 16%
5. Musharraf 13%
6. Pinochet 0%
analysis: People went with the more recognizable mustache, but in reality, nothing can compare to Lukashenko's thick lustrous Eastern European upper lip warmer.

Which current evil leader has the best looking mustache?
1. Mugabe 50%
2. al-Assad 40%
3. Bongo 10%
analysis: Apparently, sometimes less is more.

While blindfolded and trying to hit a piñata, which evil leader's testicles would you prefer to "accidentally" whack?
1. Shwe's sack 40%
2. al-Bashir's balls 30%
3. Chavez's gonads 20%
4. Kim's seed bags 10%
5. Nazarbayev's nuts 0%
analysis: The outcome? Hilarity.

Season 4
What should Pervez Musharraf do now?
1. Finish dying the rest of his hair 42%
2. Join the ELL front office! 28%
T3. Get back to work on his novel 15%
T3. Sit above Whoopi on the Hollywood Squares 15%
5. Run for President of Pakistan 0%
analysis: Really? No one wants him to become the President of Pakistan again? I don't understand.

Among the newbies, whose name is more fun to say?
1. Than Shwe 44%
2. Nursultan Nazarbayev 33%
3. Felipe Calderon 22%
analysis: They're all fun to say! Unless, of course, you live in their country.

If the 5 returning ELL competitors were campaigning to be the leader of your country: Which one would you vote for?
1. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 36%
2. Hugo Chavez 31%
3. Pervez Musharraf 18%
4. Omar al-Bashir 13%
5. Kim Jong-Il 0%
analysis: Who are these three people that voted for two-time ELL champion Omar al-Bashir to run their country?

Season 3
If you were the president of the U.S., which evil leader would you depose first with a secret CIA mission?
1. "Um, how about some diplomacy?" 50%
2. Chavez 25%
T3. al-Bashir 12.5%
T3. Mugabe 12.5%

Who's birthday party would you prefer to attend?
1. Kim Jong-Il 66%
2. Robert Mugabe 33%
analysis: Even though it's an opinion poll, the right answer is Kim Jong-Il. Both parties would basically be the same, but you can go to Zimbabwe any old time you want. It's infinitely more difficult to get into North Korea.

Which returning evil leader is the most evil?
1. Omar al-Bashir 42%
T2. Hugo Chavez 28%
T2. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 28%