Season 1, Week 2

Week 2 of the ELL is heating up. Let's see how the evil leaders fared:

Ahmadinejad vs al-Bashir
The religious leadership of Iran told Ahmadinejad to "cut that nuclear aspiration shit out." Moderate Iranians fear that his determination for a nuclear program is only increasing their country's isolation within the international community. Ahmadinejad seems to have lost his political capital since his party suffered election defeats. Hey, evil leaders aren't supposed to worry about "political capital!" According to the Sudanese media, Omar al-Bashir might be the greatest thing since sliced bread (sliced bread being Sudan's most cherished import). He's going to take over leadership of the African Union and keep peace in Somalia. He has also been nicknamed "Mr. Triple 20" because of his proficient dart throwing.
winner: al-Bashir

Chavez vs Hussein
Hugo Chavez will shutdown an oppositional television station once its license runs out in May. Well played! Chavez has done a good job of silencing his opponents without causing too much international outrage over it. His problem is his ego; he demeaned U.S. Secretary of State, calling her a "little girl." There's very little upside to that remark, while it might just piss off the U.S. unnecessarily. However, Chavez keeps rolling because his opponent, Saddam Hussein, is dead.
winner: Chavez

Kim vs Mugabe
Zimbabwe's president, Robert Mugabe, is witnessing the demise of his political party, ZANU-PF. He claims that if he steps down, his party will lose its next election. It's smart for the 82 year old to try to claim that he's important, but his evil leader clout is waning with a sentiment like this. Fading political parties don't help in this league, unless it's those of your opponents. Meanwhile, Kim Jong-Il was allegedly given money by the United Nations and is planning a trip to Seoul in the spring. Coincidence? Almost certainly. But a trip to Seoul is cool. Kim also just bought all ten seasons of Friends on DVD.
winner: Kim

Lukashenko vs Castro
Russia has raised natural gas and oil prices for Belarus. Belarus' President Lukashenko says that this will result in a tough 3 to 4 years for his citizens. Despite Lukashenko's negotiating loss while asking Russia for its energy prices to remain low, he comes out looking good. He has blamed the suckiness of his subjects' future lives on Russia and their high energy prices. Plus, he has vowed to continue to attempt to find ways to lower energy prices. He comes across as a champion for his people. Fidel Castro no longer has control over Cuba and reportedly has an artificial anus. A good way to lose in the ELL is to have things shoved up your ass.
winner: Lukashenko

standings:
Chavez 2-0
Kim J-I 2-0
Lukash. 2-0
al-Bash. 1-1
Ahmad. 1-1
Mugabe 0-2
Castro 0-2
Hussein 0-2