Evo Morales

Evo Morales has been reigning over Bolivia since 2006. That the anti-American is the first indigenous president- and has worked to help the poor, women, and the environment- might be a reason to celebrate for some tree-hugging feminazi socialists, but not true hardworking decent middle Americans. Those good patriotic Americans would prefer Morales's brand of "authoritarian" progressivism be with the rest of the Indians, buried on page 37 of Texas textbooks and in haunted cemeteries.

Ultimately, Morales's fiery brand of anti-imperialism and cheapshots to the groin weren't enough to overcome the fact that he's just a democratically-elected Chavez-wannabe, causing him to be relegated from the ELL as quickly as he came.

Overall record: 0-7
Season 7: 0-7

Playoff record: 0-0
Season 7: ---
Overall record against each opponent

Fun fact: Evo Morales gets his inspiration from the large poster of Che Guevara hanging in his office. But don't get too close to the poster, it's very sticky.