Season 1, ELL Finals Game 1

Just like when the NBA arbitrarily changed the first round of the playoffs to a best of 7 series, the ELL too has shifted its post season format for no good reason (except to give the Lakers an advantage). It will be a best of 3 series (first one to 2 wins), with a short turn-around in between contests. Omar al-Bashir of Sudan will face Kim Jong-Il of North Korea in the most exciting event since Georgetown made the Final Four a few short hours ago. You've been waiting for this the whole season... the "analysis" of today's "evil" leaders that Chalmers Johnson doesn't have "the" balls to give. Here is the result from Game 1 of the ELL Finals:

Kim vs al-Bashir
Overall, Kim Jong-Il's possession of nuclear weapons is good. The widespread starvation of his subjects is also a plus. But Kim didn't come to the Finals with his "A" game. The only news on Kim is that he can kiss his elbows, which means he's probably gay (if it was 1954). Egypt's Hosni Mubarak (who is wallowing in the doldrums of the Evil minor leagues) won't help the UN press Sudan on the genocide in Darfur, but al-Bashir wants to help with peace talks... in Uganda. While there's a 10% chance that al-Bashir is also gay, there is a 100% chance that'll he'll win Game 1 of the ELL Finals, because he has yet again diverted attention and action away from the genocide taking place within his borders. And Hu Jintao of China (another minor leaguer) keeps the money pouring into al-Bashir's pockets. A convincing evil victory in my book (and on my blog).
winner: al-Bashir
series: al-Bashir 1-0