Season 6, ELL Finals Game 1

It's the event that is nearly as popular as the WNBA Finals or the MLS championship, and it's here. I'm talking about the Evil Leaders League Finals. As always, the ELL Finals is a best out of three affair (first competitor to reach two victories grabs the title) with a quick turn-around. So don't go too far. Kim Jong-Il, the leader of North Korea, is attempting to defend his title and is vying for his third overall. This would be the first such honor for the Burmese leader of Myanmar, Than Shwe. It's the first Finals without that evil legend, Omar al-Bashir, participating.

Shwe vs Kim
While sanctions remain against Than Shwe's country, he's doing alright. He and his buddies will reportedly make about $5 billion from their recent gas deal with a South Korean company. That's so much money, Shwe can use $100 bills as toilet paper, which would be better than what he uses now, the remains of Buddhist monks. Speaking of toilets, Kim Jong-Il has serious bathroom issues. I know his bladder and the only thing he does more than pee is test nuclear weapons. This latest test isn't intended to threaten South Korea, the U.S., or Japan; his target is revered footballer David Beckham.
winner: Shwe
series: Shwe 1-0