Season 1, Week 7

The last week of the regular season. The top 4 make the playoffs, the bottom 3 face relegation. Here are the results:

Castro vs Mugabe
Cuba's former authoritarian Fidel Castro talked on the radio last week. No word if he was simply talking out of his artificial ass. Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe must be Jewish because things keep going badly for him. The country is now forever linked with the Weimar Republic of Germany for the extent of its hyperinflation. Analysts are looking toward 2008 for hope. Why 2008? Because that's the proposed year for Mugabe's ouster after 27 years in power. But he still is in power.
winner: Mugabe

Ahmadinejad vs Chavez
The matchup of the week. Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad continues to be America's Boogeyman. Presidential pretender Joe Biden called Ahmadinejad a madman, specifically saying, "that wacko guy, the crazy president," just because he showers 5 times a day. I say he's a germophobe, not a wacko. In between showers, Ahmadinejad witnessed his budget proposal approved by Iran's parliament. Though it passed, MP's in Iran criticized the plan. Parliament? Critical MPs? Freedom of speech? Looks bad. Hugo Chavez of Venezuela says that the CIA is out to kill him. Crazy evil stuff right there. He also wants the country's leftist parties to join his own. They're not so keen on the one party deal. Chavez will have them yet, most likely.
winner: Chavez

al-Bashir vs Hussein
Omar al-Bashir, the president of Sudan, won't hand over Sudanese citizens for trials outside of the country. Omar al-Bashir, who the fuck is you? Evidently, he's still got enough clout to talk a little shit. Talking or shitting, two things Saddam Hussein hasn't done lately; he's dead.
winner: al-Bashir

Lukashenko vs Kim
A Russian ultra-rightist group Movement Against Illegal Aliens wants Alexander Lukashenko to be Russia's president in 2008. The only problem is that the duties of being Russia's president might interfere with his current job, president of Belarus. But that's a big piece of evil pie right there. Lukashenko has been scrounging for money to help his financially fledgling country. So he met with leaders from UAE. Good stuff. North Korea's Kim Jong-Il has been getting money from the United Nation's Development Program. He also partied at the Chinese embassy in Pyongyang. But no one wants Kim to be president of Russia, Nepal, or any other country. Probably not even North Korea.
winner: Lukashenko

standings:
Kim J-I 5-2
Chavez 5-2
Ahmad 5-2
al-Bash 5-2
Lukash 4-3
Mugabe 3-4
Castro 1-6
Hussein 0-7