Season 4, Week 2

One of the most important aspects of any evil leader's job is dishing out brutal treatment of minorities. One of the most popular minorities to persecute across the world is the Jews. So here are the results of the ELL's Jewish-themed week.

Musharraf vs al-Bashir
Pakistani President Musharraf is not a popular man. His detractors have claimed that he's in bed with the Jews. Not literally. He's no Imran Khan. But the leader of a country that is possibly harboring Osama Bin Laden does not want to be seen as a Jew-lover. Sudan's Omar al-Bashir is another Muslim leader. He believes that the Jews are behind the attempt to send UN peace-keepers into genocide-laden Darfur. No, it wasn't meant to be a compliment. Apparently, al-Bashir also makes secret trips to Israel. This contest is really falling apart. Two Muslim leaders of nations with militant fundamentalists, and we can't get even a decent dose of anti-Semitism. Well, at least al-Bashir claims that Jews control U.S. foreign policy. It's a hackneyed accusation, but at least it's something.
winner: al-Bashir

Shwe vs Kim
Than Shwe leads Burma a.k.a. Myanmar. Whatever you call the country, there are only 20 Jews left within its borders and they're terrified for their lives. That is more like the anti-Semitism I was expecting! Kim Jong-Il looks a little bit like my grandmother, but that's as close as North Korea comes to anything Jewish. Apparently, Kim is not a fan of Itzhak Perlman, which is why he trades military secrets with enemies of Israel. Maybe North Korea actually trades with other rogue nations because the global community views them as pariah states and so it's their only choice. Eh no, that's not it. My Itzhak Perlman theory makes more sense.
winner: Shwe

Ahmadinejad vs Calderon
Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is responsible for the worst atrocities the Jews have ever had to endure. Hitler couldn't hold Ahmadinejad's left nut (and that's the unclean nut). He's denied the Holocaust (specifically saying, "I didn't care much for Life is Beautiful"), he's massacred Jews from the comfort of his own home (he plays World of Warcraft against a bunch of nerdy Heebs from Boca Raton), and he's threatened to nuke Israel into oblivion (despite the lack of firepower stronger than a cherry bomb). Felipe Calderon is the President of Mexico. He condemned an old resolution from 1975 that linked Zionism with racism. That's really weak, hombre. But he has enlisted his army of Mexican laborers to steal the landscaping jobs that once belonged to the Jews.
winner: Ahmadinejad

Nazarbayez vs Chavez
Nursultan Nazarbayev of Kazakhstan really let me down here. He is another leader of a Muslim country, yet he is considered a friend of Israel and the Jews. I had prepared myself for the especially heinous anti-Semitism coming out of the Muslim world that I always hear about in the American and Israeli press and, well, I have been woefully disappointed. Nothing can make me feel better. But wait. Venezuela's Hugo Chavez has called Colombia "the Israel of Latin America," because both are the primary aggressors in their respective regions. Jackpot! That has all of the features of dynamite anti-Semitism. It's original. It's nonsensical. It makes it local. It's a completely unnecessary shot at the Jews. It's totally unfair to Israel. It's new. It's fresh. Thank you Hugo Chavez, for restoring my faith in evil leaders' anti-Semitism.
winner: Chavez

standings:
al-Bash 2-0
T Shwe 2-0
Kim J-I 1-1
Ahmad 1-1
Mushar 1-1
Chavez 1-1
Caldero 0-2
Nazarba 0-2