Season 3 Review

This was a pretty great season for the Evil Leaders League and its competitors. It wasn't as great for the people who live in their countries, but we all can't be winners. If there weren't oppressed and persecuted people, we wouldn't have evil leaders. And then we wouldn't have the Evil Leaders League. Now that would be a tragedy.

The Champion - Kim Jong-Il 4-3 (2-0) [all-time: 13-8 (3-2)]
North Korea's little leader has nuclear weapons and touts them in a politically shrewd manner. Whenever, he feels a budget crunch, he start to spout threats and in turn receives aid after flippantly promising to disarm. This tactic extends his legitimacy within his country a little while longer. But that's not why he won the ELL championship this season. It's not because the dissent in his country is nil. It's not because he runs one of the most isolated nations in the world. His people are perpetually kept down; they've been abandoned and most are left to starve and many are forced into labor camps. But that's not really why he won either. The reason is: big sunglasses give me the creeps.

Check out the best out-of-context lines from this season in the Highlights section.

The Challengers
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 5-2 (1-1) [13-8 (1-1)] - Threatening others with nuclear weapons that you don't possess gets you second place.
Omar al-Bashir 5-2 (0-1) [16-5 (4-1)] - Genocide only got him third place this season. Mass murder runs thin after a while.
Pervez Musharraf 5-2 (0-1) - A newcomer to the league, he detained opponents with great frequency. But the U.S. is an ally, so we were alright.
Hugo Chavez 4-3 [13-8 (1-2) - Barely missed the playoffs this time, Maybe he should've actually started a war with U.S.-ally Colombia, instead of just talking about one.

The Relegated
Robert Mugabe 2-5 [5-9] - He beat his opponents and ruined his country, but it wasn't enough to stay in the league. He lost because his time in power might be coming to an end thanks to an election that is still hanging in the balance as of this moment.
Vladimir Putin 2-5 [8-6 (0-1)] - His right hand man will become the new president of Russia next month. He hasn't been appointed Prime Minister yet and can't run for president again until 2012, so he was relegated.
Hu Jintao 1-6 - With the Beijing Olympics on the horizon, Hu has become more evil. But only in perception, not in practice. And even the perception of his evilness didn't arise until after it was too late for Hu.

Some Facts and Figures:
Uses of the word during the third ELL season - some variation of the word "fuck" 5 times; some variation of "ass" 3 times; some variation of "shit" 4 times; "evil" 40 times; "constitution" 4 times; "penis" twice; "low self-esteem" once.
5 people will return for next season.
4 mentions of persecuting the gays.
2 separate chess references.
2 separate mentions of eating balls.
1 reference to Schindler's List, Hobby Lobby, and the Golden Girls.

Join us next season for more Evil Leaders League action.