Season 1, Semis 2nd Leg

The accumulative winners of the two legs of competition will face off in the finals. Let's check out the results from the 2nd leg:

Kim vs Ahmadinejad
While the world continues to be up in arms about Ahmadinejad's potential for having nuclear arms (ugh, terrible play on words), Kim Jong-Il actually has them. Fortunately his Elvis hairstyle clearly indicates that he is a stable man. It appears clear that, barring nuclear annihilation, Kim will eventually pass power to one of his children. The Kim, or Jong, or maybe Il, I don't know what gets passed down in Korean society, but whatever it is, that dynasty will continue. The announcement makes it less likely that Kim would use his nuclear weapons, but even possessing them for an evil leader is like a mouth for a hooker. It's enough to get the job done.

The aforementioned Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been granted a visa to the US in order to speak at the UN. What the fuck? My friend's brother, from India, couldn't even get a visa to visit his parents and his sister in the US. Russia has given Ahmadinejad an ultimatum, you want our gas, how about no more enriching uranium. Ultimately, Ahmadinejad is a lot of hype, and not enough evil.
winner 2nd leg: Kim by 6
winner overall: Kim by 20

Chavez vs al-Bashir
Venezuela's Hugo Chavez (pronounced Oo-go Chavez) threatened his allies to either join his new socialist party or face the wrath of the "Dark Knight," Chavez's self-professed nickname. In other news, Chavez and Barbara Walters are quite fond of one another. That's not so evil, it's more like: Huh? Chavez has had a very good evil season, but I'm not writing my congressperson and senators about the atrocities occurring in his land, urging them to act. The same cannot be said for Omar al-Bashir of Sudan. In fairness to al-Bashir, he denies any government role in the violence in Darfur. Perhaps that's why he doesn't want any UN peacekeeping forces to stop the violence, or why he doesn't want any Sudanese to be tried in courts outside of Sudan, or why he signed a peace agreement with Chad assuring the Chadians the violence wouldn't cross the border. You know what, Omar al-Bashir of Sudan might be a liar. And what he's lying about is even more important than a blowjob.
winner 2nd leg: al-Bashir by 6
winner overall: al-Bashir by 2

special note: Poor Robert Mugabe. The Zimbabwean president had a rough year and will be relegated. After the season ends, Mugabe gets the hot hand, beating up his political opponents left and right. And then another left and a right, then two lefts, then a couple of kicks to the stomach. Well, buck up Robert, there's always the year after next.