Season 6 Review

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Season 6 has completed and there are still evil leaders in the world. What gives? I guess they exist so that I can make fun of them and you can have a good laugh or cringe, as the case may be. Of course, this season is dedicated to those who go to bed hungry and thirsty, to those with AIDS and malaria, and those in jail for their political beliefs.

The Champion - Than Shwe 4-3 (2-0)
Than Shwe, the military junta leader of Burma and Myanmar (depending on who you ask), finally got over the hump this season and won his first championship. His government is autocratic and refuses to provide for its citizens. Meanwhile, Shwe makes money off of his nation's stash of natural gas. He spends that money on the shiny medals that adorn his military jumpsuit. Than likes shiny. He also like doing away with Buddhist monks and democracy advocates.

Check out the best out-of-context lines from this season in the Highlights section.

The Challengers
Kim Jong-Il 6-1 (1-1) - His bipolar method of ruling landed him in second place this season.
Omar al-Bashir 5-2 (0-1) - Genocide runs thin after a while, but it's still good enough for a playoff berth.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 3-4 (0-1) - Stole an election and jailed his opponents, but looked sexy while doing it.
Teodoro Obiang 3-4 - A corrupt African dictator of an oil state isn't unique, but it does lend itself to humorous situations.

The Relegated
Bashar al-Assad 3-4 - Too many overtures to the U.S. and Israel to stay in the ELL another season.
Hugo Chavez 2-5 - His charismatic brand of socialist anti-Americanism had a long and legendary run.
Ilham Aliyev 2-5 - Squashing dissent isn't evil enough these days.

A couple of sad goodbyes:
When you do a league like this, you make a lot of friends. This season, we've lost two such people. The former president of Gabon, Omar Bongo, left us far too late earlier in the summer. He only spent one season in the league, but he will not soon be forgotten, especially by his citizens. Mostly because he ruined their lives.

Hugo Chavez has been a part of the Evil Leaders League since its inception. His combative version of socialism and tactless anti-American rhetoric provided the ELL with many jokes at his expense. It takes an unabashed egomaniac, hellbent on maintaining power and promoting his ideology regardless of practicality to survive in such a competitive league like this one for six impactful campaigns. He will be sorely missed next season.

To Omar Bongo and Hugo Chavez: Thanks for the memories.

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